Someone just wrote me saying “I’ve discovered I’m addicted to lack. Help!”

These are my thoughts in response. It seems to me that being addicted to lack (focused on what you don’t have, sabotaging the flow in your life) is being addicted to fear/adrenalin/victim. It would be helpful to give some thought to what being addicted to lack gets you – the “benefits” of being in lack – pity? rescue? righteousness? attention? being right about how wrong you are (inability to handle money)?

I have a simple answer to the situation. One that has worked for me for decades.
Start a new addiction to gratitude which will help you feel abundant and peaceful. Be grateful everyday for what you have.Be grateful for the opportunity to become more resourceful and creative when you have a space to fill.

Stop calling it lack. Love that state, whatever its characteristics are. It is a space to fill in your life. If you keep calling it lack and resisting it, you will create more lack. See the opportunity to fill the space with something different. Bless that opportunity and then ask “where do I want to go from here?” “what is my next step?” and then “thank you for this opportunity to learn, grow, be more resourceful in the world”.

If you need 30 seconds or five minutes of a pity party for what you think you don’t have or can’t do, then feel it. Let it move through and then choose your next step.

Be grateful for all the flow of energy in your life, the true prosperity of health, love, creative self-expression and the wealth that flows through you every day (including the wealth that is not money).

Finally are you tithing? even a penny on a dollar? Give in gratitude for what you have received – always!

Remember, you choose your thoughts, your focus, your direction. Your thoughts cause your emotions to shift and overtime will build a new belief system. Let lack atrophy, build gratitude and opportunity!

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The amount of information and technology available to the average worker today is more than a worker experienced in a lifetime in 1900, and that information and technology will double in less than a year! The speed of life has definitely increased as has the stress we are under every day. A steadily growing body of research in the field of “what makes one successful” says that EQ (Emotional Intelligence) is the key both personally and professionally to a satisfying and successful life.

TalentSmart.com, leading EQ researchers, tell us we have 27 emotional reactions every day, 150,000 in a year. 60% of job performance is Emotional Intelligence, in all jobs. 15% of success is technical knowledge, 85% is people skills (EQ). This makes EQ an invaluable business asset, whether you are worker, boss or owner.

What’s Your EQ?

Rate yourself on the following statements, as honestly as possible on a 1 to 10 scale (1 = rarely true, 10 = almost always true)

___ I am comfortable with other’s emotional expression.
___ I am comfortable telling others about my emotions and reactions.
___ I am good at gaining cooperation from others.
___ I express anger in safe and healthy ways.
___ I use both my emotions and my logical, rational mind when making decisions.
___ I am intrinsically motivated.
___ I can read others’ emotional states and am usually correct in assessing their feelings.
___ I am self-motivated and excited about my life.
___ I am aware of my emotions and express them appropriately.
___ I handle conflict well and can assist others in resolution of conflict.

10 – 30 = You need an EQ map and a course on how to read it!
30 – 50 = You are walking down the middle of the EQ road, not sure which direction to take.
50 – 80 = You are on the road to a high EQ and could use a little more direction
80 – 90 = You know where you are going and have good relationships with your fellow travelers
90 – 100 = Are you sure you were honest? If you were, have you consider writing a book?

If you are in need of direction, an EQ map, don’t worry. Fortunately, EQ is a learned intelligence (unlike IQ). There are plenty of sources. Read a book – two of my favorites “The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book” (comes with a free code for an online assessment) from TalentSmart.com, and Executive EQ by Robert Cooper (a self-scoring assessment is included in the book). Or bring someone into your company to do an EQ training. Taking It Lightly, a weekend workshop offered at the Center for Creative Learning, is designed to help you increase your Emotional Intelligence. Check it out here

Building your EQ will make every area of your life easier, so get on the road!

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Don’t make resolutions, make fundamental choices!

by Patricia

What exactly is a resolution? And why is the failure rate of New Year’s Resolutions so high? The word resolution comes from the Latin – resolvere – to loosen or release. In our dictionary it is the explanation of problem or puzzle – from loosening the “knot” of the problem so it is understood. However, […]

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Lessons from the Deep Freeze

by Patricia

Who would have thought that the deep freeze (-50 Farenheit) could be a source of inspiration and reminders of how healing works? I didn’t, at first. Then the Deep Freeze brought a frozen drain pipe in my house, burst pipes resulting in a small lake (ok, very large puddle!) in the course room at the […]

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Resolutions? Changes? A New Endeavor? Remember this…

by Patricia

Thinking about “growing” some goals, making some changes, starting something new? Whether you are making changes for growing your business or a having a more satisfying personal life, you may want to remember this story. Wanting to fill his yard with the smell of lilacs, the man planted several bushes in his garden. After a […]

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What Christmas Movies Do You Watch?

by Patricia

Holidays are mixed blessings for most of us. I find myself wondering how the movies people watch during this time reflect their emotional state. (This of course could be true any day of the year!). Do you watch the kid movies? About Santa and reindeer and snowmen? An inner child wanting the times of innocence […]

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Hobby? What’s that?

by Patricia

My daily task for the Successful Living Basic Training follow-up is to start a hobby if I don’t have one. That got me thinking. For the last 30 years, my “hobby” has been the Center, Taking It Lightly, creating community. For the last 20 years, I’ve had a second “hobby” – doing veterans work. Both […]

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Being in the Right Place at the Right Time

by Patricia

In the Successful Living Basic Training we talk about how defining life purpose helps to focus our choices. One way to clarify your life purpose is the look at the WOW experiences in your life – the times when you were in the right place, at the right time, successfully engaged in the right activity […]

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Successful Living Basic Training Launches this Month

by Patricia

I AM SO EXCITED!! This is a dream several years in the making. A start that fell apart. Big life changes that required urgent attention. The result was that the dream went on the back-burner until early this year. Nine months in the making (what a co-incidence 😉 that was completely unplanned, just realized it […]

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Still Breathing? You Are Learning!

by Patricia

We are learning every moment, processing billions of bits of data per second through the system that is our body and brain. The question is “What will you choose to consciously pay attention to?” We are aware of only 2,000 bits of data per second and the rest of the billions are, fortunately, processed without […]

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