The amount of information and technology available to the average worker today is more than a worker experienced in a lifetime in 1900, and that information and technology will double in less than a year! The speed of life has definitely increased as has the stress we are under every day. A steadily growing body of research in the field of “what makes one successful” says that EQ (Emotional Intelligence) is the key both personally and professionally to a satisfying and successful life., leading EQ researchers, tell us we have 27 emotional reactions every day, 150,000 in a year. 60% of job performance is Emotional Intelligence, in all jobs. 15% of success is technical knowledge, 85% is people skills (EQ). This makes EQ an invaluable business asset, whether you are worker, boss or owner.

What’s Your EQ?

Rate yourself on the following statements, as honestly as possible on a 1 to 10 scale (1 = rarely true, 10 = almost always true)

___ I am comfortable with other’s emotional expression.
___ I am comfortable telling others about my emotions and reactions.
___ I am good at gaining cooperation from others.
___ I express anger in safe and healthy ways.
___ I use both my emotions and my logical, rational mind when making decisions.
___ I am intrinsically motivated.
___ I can read others’ emotional states and am usually correct in assessing their feelings.
___ I am self-motivated and excited about my life.
___ I am aware of my emotions and express them appropriately.
___ I handle conflict well and can assist others in resolution of conflict.

10 – 30 = You need an EQ map and a course on how to read it!
30 – 50 = You are walking down the middle of the EQ road, not sure which direction to take.
50 – 80 = You are on the road to a high EQ and could use a little more direction
80 – 90 = You know where you are going and have good relationships with your fellow travelers
90 – 100 = Are you sure you were honest? If you were, have you consider writing a book?

If you are in need of direction, an EQ map, don’t worry. Fortunately, EQ is a learned intelligence (unlike IQ). There are plenty of sources. Read a book – two of my favorites “The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book” (comes with a free code for an online assessment) from, and Executive EQ by Robert Cooper (a self-scoring assessment is included in the book). Or bring someone into your company to do an EQ training. Taking It Lightly, a weekend workshop offered at the Center for Creative Learning, is designed to help you increase your Emotional Intelligence. Check it out here

Building your EQ will make every area of your life easier, so get on the road!

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What exactly is a resolution? And why is the failure rate of New Year’s Resolutions so high?

The word resolution comes from the Latin – resolvere – to loosen or release. In our dictionary it is the explanation of problem or puzzle – from loosening the “knot” of the problem so it is understood.

However, committing to going to the gym three times a week doesn’t resolve the problem of your health or weight. It doesn’t explain the problem (how you got there, what you do to keep repeating the behaviors that keep you from having good health or the weight you want).

Interestingly, the word solution also comes from the Latin solvere – to loosen. However in our lexicon it means answer to the problem. It is possible to have a solution without resolution, hence likely a temporary fix.

So if you really want resolution – a true change to a condition in your life, take a look at the choices behind those new year’s resolutions and find the explanation of the problem or puzzle that is bothering you.

I suggest that it may be that you are making choices that you think you should make, based on how you think you should be, to change a condition that you have been living in for a year, or maybe even years.

You probably haven’t figured out why you are in that condition in the first place and what was more important to you than the condition that you think you want (or should want).

The resolution of the condition (loosening of the knot that you are in) is identifying your previous choices and then making a fundamental choice and build a habit of making everyday choices based on that fundamental choice. Choosing to exercise three times a week is not a fundamental choice. The fundamental choice in this area would be “I choose good health”. Other fundamental choices are “I choose emotional well-being” or “I choose love and forgiveness” or “I choose gratitude”.

Then every day, when making choices about your health, your emotions, your wealth, your relationships, your self-expression, you can first re-commit to your fundamental choice and then ask yourself, “Does this choice I am about to make support my fundamental choice?” If it doesn’t, make a choice that does.

Before long you will have a new neural pathway, built of your new fundamental choice and supportive daily choices. Over time it gets easier and easier.

So tonight, or tomorrow, when you think about making a new year’s resolution, just simply make your fundamental choice and act in a way that supports that choice.

Here’s an example of one way to do this…

What you can do right now is make a list of 25 wonderful things about you and be grateful!! Then make a choice to live in love and forgiveness and gratitude. Set a goal of doing one simple thing each day to love someone (including yourself), forgive someone or be grateful for someone or something. Put a fun sticker, note, drawing on your calendar each time you remember to do a simple act of love, forgiveness or kindness. It only takes a moment (or a few) for that simple act every day. You will be amazed at how your life transforms!! You will develop a strong neural pathway of seeing and living life in love, forgiveness, and gratitude!!

And here is a great way to kick-start that habit! Attend the Day of Forgiveness and Gratitude and then attend the Successful Living Basic Training to build a foundation for the life you want to live.

See you there!!


Lessons from the Deep Freeze

by Patricia

Who would have thought that the deep freeze (-50 Farenheit) could be a source of inspiration and reminders of how healing works? I didn’t, at first. Then the Deep Freeze brought a frozen drain pipe in my house, burst pipes resulting in a small lake (ok, very large puddle!) in the course room at the […]

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Resolutions? Changes? A New Endeavor? Remember this…

by Patricia

Thinking about “growing” some goals, making some changes, starting something new? Whether you are making changes for growing your business or a having a more satisfying personal life, you may want to remember this story. Wanting to fill his yard with the smell of lilacs, the man planted several bushes in his garden. After a […]

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What Christmas Movies Do You Watch?

by Patricia

Holidays are mixed blessings for most of us. I find myself wondering how the movies people watch during this time reflect their emotional state. (This of course could be true any day of the year!). Do you watch the kid movies? About Santa and reindeer and snowmen? An inner child wanting the times of innocence […]

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Hobby? What’s that?

by Patricia

My daily task for the Successful Living Basic Training follow-up is to start a hobby if I don’t have one. That got me thinking. For the last 30 years, my “hobby” has been the Center, Taking It Lightly, creating community. For the last 20 years, I’ve had a second “hobby” – doing veterans work. Both […]

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Being in the Right Place at the Right Time

by Patricia

In the Successful Living Basic Training we talk about how defining life purpose helps to focus our choices. One way to clarify your life purpose is the look at the WOW experiences in your life – the times when you were in the right place, at the right time, successfully engaged in the right activity […]

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Successful Living Basic Training Launches this Month

by Patricia

I AM SO EXCITED!! This is a dream several years in the making. A start that fell apart. Big life changes that required urgent attention. The result was that the dream went on the back-burner until early this year. Nine months in the making (what a co-incidence 😉 that was completely unplanned, just realized it […]

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Still Breathing? You Are Learning!

by Patricia

We are learning every moment, processing billions of bits of data per second through the system that is our body and brain. The question is “What will you choose to consciously pay attention to?” We are aware of only 2,000 bits of data per second and the rest of the billions are, fortunately, processed without […]

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Is Happiness Highly Over-rated?

by Patricia

I’ve been having discussions recently with people about happiness, as clients have been saying “I just want to be happy.” This peaked my curiosity and I started asking the question “What does that mean to you? How do you define happiness?”  This is what I heard… It means I won’t be sad anymore (some other […]

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